Thursday, January 19, 2006

Relax, it was only about The Cute.

For Immediate Release
Office of the Press Secretary
January 19, 2006

WASHINGTON, Jan 19/US Newswire -- In a stunningly frank admission today, White House Spokesman Scott McClellan announced that the NSA has been monitoring Internet e-mail traffic soley for picture attachments suitable for submission to photo blog website Cute Overload.

"Condi Rice is so addicted to this site," admitted McClellan. "The Administration felt requesting prior search warrants from the FISA, to authorize utilization of the intelligence communities vast data-mining resources in this endeavor would spoil the surprise for her."

A priority search was implemented for pictures of baby Kyrgyzstani Turkey Buzzards, a favorite feathered friend of the Secretary, after unnamed White House staffers noted her gleeful attempts to get one to perch on her finger.


McClellan then elaborated on additional cute animal pictures of top priority national interest. Rumors persist that Osama bin Laden, while camping in the deserts of Afghanistan, discovered several members of the local fauna made for great pets.

"Bin Laden found their indoctrination, er, I mean their domestication, an easy task. It is speculated he uploaded an adorable set of baby sand rat pics to his Flickr page, to share with The Fat Sand Rat Pack, a group of rodent enthusiasts back in Saudi Arabia," the WH spokesman disclosed.

However, when pressed by reporters on this, McClellan had "No further comment on the Osama rat story. Disclosure of what we know and when we knew it could jepoardize our ability to intercept the anticipated shots of his ratlets after they have grown more hair... gotten, you know, fuzzier and cuddlier."

(end of bogus press release & kudos to Lady Crumpet)


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