I have to apologize for the bad poetry over the past few days. And now I have to apologize because it's never right to write when drunk. But tonight I needed to write that I miss a very, very dear friend of mine, who decided to leave this world last thursday.

Sofa/Noel Cross, was a lovely, amazing, wonderful, person. This is the first time in 4 days I can speak about him in the past tense. I guess that's progress.

I may understand why he decided to do this, or maybe not. In any event, I know it's fundamentally wrong. He fucked up.Yet I also can't stop telling myself I fucked up much worse than he, by not making sure he understood how much he meant to me. Maybe that wouldn't have made any difference. But maybe, at the very least, he hated to feel guilty....

damn, sofa, why didn't you feel some fucking guilt?

it's so pointless.